CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
