great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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