i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
