I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
