So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Couch. On fire.
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