I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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