I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize