I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
