worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My feet surprised me
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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