Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
