A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize