I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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