what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
