OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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