Your dad touched me again.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
did i walk over a car last night?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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