Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
