I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize