Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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