White coat. Heels.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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