Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize