a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
