I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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