What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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