and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
