also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
