I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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