I'm going to jail i love you
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
