Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
