I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize