you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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