Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize