So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
