Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
