So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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