he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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