new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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