David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
