and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
