I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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