Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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