Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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