is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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