I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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