My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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