I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
