I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize