You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
vagina is talking i cant
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
