I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
