I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
