Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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