I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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