But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
