Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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