I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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