problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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