Non-Jews are for practice
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
