You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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