I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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