I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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