Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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