That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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