don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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