Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
