dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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