I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We are all done wearing pants today
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
