Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i believe in u and ur pee