Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.

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(773): Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem. http://tfl.nu/9i07

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(619): View more from California

I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.

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(619): I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue. http://tfl.nu/sfkc

Replies (56) Good night (873) Bad night (5721)
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(530): View more from California

Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud

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(530): Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud http://tfl.nu/4tef

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(785): View more from Kansas

We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.

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(785): We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson. http://tfl.nu/vrgn

Replies (19) Good night (5051) Bad night (2163)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest

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(815): Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest http://tfl.nu/qjdf

Replies (12) Good night (4513) Bad night (837)
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(845): View more from New York

He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.

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(845): He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver. http://tfl.nu/r9iy

Replies (39) Good night (10431) Bad night (1378)
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(817): View more from Texas

she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable

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(817): she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable http://tfl.nu/cijd

Replies (13) Good night (728) Bad night (1991)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN

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(715): just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN http://tfl.nu/9tva

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(805): View more from California

What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.

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(805): What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc. http://tfl.nu/01sm

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(905): View more from Ontario

Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.

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(905): Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward. http://tfl.nu/zy4k

Replies (6) Good night (1801) Bad night (498)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong

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(410): Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong http://tfl.nu/3qt9

Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (368)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.

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(412): I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/c3ar

Replies (6) Good night (457) Bad night (813)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.

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(404): Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine. http://tfl.nu/q9px

Replies (1) Good night (760) Bad night (433)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.

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(402): REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES. http://tfl.nu/6ntk

Replies (3) Good night (1198) Bad night (314)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.

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(612): I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week. http://tfl.nu/fbwq

Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (591)

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