someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...