I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My ass is underappreciated
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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