only if we run a train.
done.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
