That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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