I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I checked into jail on foursquare
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
