I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
