We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
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I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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