So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
